This year I have decided to do things differently. I haven’t set any new year’s resolutions or set out to accomplish a major goal that requires a deadline. This is a life resolution. I’ve removed all pressure to become this “well accomplished” person and have decided to start over. I was consumed by too many things outside of myself that did not matter. Comparing my journey with that of others, and feeling that I wasn’t accomplished because I didn’t hit certain milestones in my life yet. I was neglecting the most important part of my life, which is me. The time to revaluate myself came way before the new year. I needed to make a change quickly because I was losing myself, and it felt uncomfortable. Everything stopped for me, and I began to analyze every part of myself to see how I could improve it. Maybe it was my work ethic, maybe if I wasn’t so shy, maybe if I wasn’t so emotional, maybe this, and maybe that. By analyzing my life, it turned into me picking at myself. That caused me to create an unhealthy and unstable mind, which I had to stop.
Feeling overwhelmed and heavy from life, I was pushed to my last option. It was the one that I was most afraid of and tried my best to avoid doing, and that was starting over. This is a complete reset, not just in one area of my life but in all areas. I was so hesitant to start over because I felt that it meant all the hard work I put into what I was doing was for nothing. In my mind, having to start over, felt like I was going backward, but actually, it was pushing me forward. I removed acting, painting, and Purposely You off my plate and started the process all over again. Now, Starting over on Purposely You, was the scariest one. I wrote and produced over a hundred pieces of content; Which included blog posts, YouTube videos, Instagram posts, podcasts, and speaking events. Over the past few years, things were great for Purposely You. However, I was battling with my self-esteem and doubted, where I was going in my life. From that, I found the courage to begin again.
Once I made up my mind to start over, I felt liberated, and things became clear. I no longer felt the weight and pressure to be “successful.” I found happiness in creating and learning to be kind to myself. It truly helped me see who I was and what I could do. I’m here to tell you that its okay to start over. It may be exactly what you need to do to propel you forward. Taking the pressure off of being “successful” allows you to flow in your purpose effortlessly. Don’t continue the same cycle as you did last year. Welcome, 2020!!! A new year, a new beginning, and a clean slate.
Photographer: Christian K. Germany