Life is different now. It has changed, and with this change has me reminiscing on what life used to be before COVID-19. I remember going out, enjoying the company of others, making plans to travel, excited about booked opportunities, and many other beautiful things. The plan was and still is, for this year to be my best year. I was finally starting to see things move again in my life. The opportunities were lined up, and I was excited because I knew that they were door openers. I felt like it was the push that I’ve been waiting for and the push that I thought I needed. However, as I said, things have changed.
Now, we practice social distancing while staying at home, and the mood is self-isolation because we’re quarantined. Our new normal has me reflecting deeply on me. When you are reflecting on your life, sometimes only the good pop up and other times only the bad. For me, it was a mixture of both. I was reminiscing on the “good” things that were lined up for this year, then being upset because all those “good” things were placed on hold. But my mind went to the thought of those “good” things not happening at all. Then the question, “what am I going to do?” popped up. That’s when I realized I was worried about the wrong things. I was consumed with being successful, and in my eyes, to be successful meant overworking myself. Me overworking myself made me numb to a lot of things, and many of those things were within the simple things. I was so numb that I didn’t realize that I was crushing my soul and self-esteem. It was destroying my view on how I saw me. Focusing on “being successful” stops you from seeing your true worth because now you’re looking at your value through someone else’s eyes. That’s a dangerous place to be. You’ll think you need to change the things about yourself that make you unique. Even contemplating an idea because you shared it with someone, and they didn’t understand it. Now, you feel like it’s not worth trying at all, but it is worth it. You are worth it.
This time to myself is teaching me a lot about me. Changing my mindset is key, and right now, my mindset is gratitude. I’m grateful for the revelations that I’ve discovered about myself and the chance to address them. From this point forward, I will find success in the simple things — one of those simple things I’m grateful for is a sunny day. Before COVID-19 and self-revelations, I never stopped to appreciate the sun shining, birds chirping, the blue skies, the wind blowing, or to sit and admire the trees. I’m finding so much gratitude in what God has created — including us. It’s a blessing to receive answers that only my soul could ask for and to be able to understand what I need to do to make a change. Take this time to grow, be kind to yourself, and remember that you are beautiful, like a sunny day. 🌞